I'm Gonna Do It...I'm Running in a Marathon!

Yup, since I was about 14 I've wanted to run a marathon. I promised myself when I got pregnant with Addison that I would run one. Then I got pregnant with Baylor. Then I stayed busy and "lumpy". Now, I'm going to do it!

I've had a lot of focus lately and when the Lord wants things to fall into place they do quite nicely. I work in a amazing school district ran by man and I call quite a few truly remarkable human beings my colleagues. Together we are all working on training for the Chicago Marathon in October. This is the support I really need to reach my goal.

I really need to ease myself back into running and shed quite a few pounds to take the pressure off of my joints, I will certainly be writing about my journey. Basketball season ends Feb. 11 and I am very excited for this new adventure. Heavy training starts around June, but I want to run in a 5K on Valentines day and quite a few 5Ks in prior to the summer.

Most of all I think it will be really nice to have something that is just for me. Being a mom has really taken an element of "individual attention" away from myself and I think getting back to "me" in a healthy way will help my focus and regain my long gone body confidence.

I keep telling myself that "you gave birth to two very large babies with out an epidural, a marathon is nothing". I kind of joke about it, but I did prepare for labor with hypno-birthing and lots of breathing/focus techniques. We shall see...

I am so excited for the adventure. I feel such a positive energy from so much of the changes my family and I have been going through and I can't wait to start posting about my progress.

My bear the crawler!

The time has come and Baylor Jane is actively crawling. It officially happend this afternoon, she made it a full distance and with ease. Walking looks pretty near (a month or so if I am gauging it right, I really thought she would skip crawling...she is far more interested in pulling up on furniture).

Heaven help us, I'm not sure we are ready for this. Yikes, I guess this is the lords way of getting me to loose the rest of the baby weight!

Ahhh, the Cycle has Been Broken

I am proud to say that Addison had kicked the habit. She is no longer a slave to the pacifier. If you have never experienced a toddler "hooked" on a pacifier I can best describe it as the kiddie equivialnt of someone hooked on crack coccaine.

I kid you not, when we first tried to break her of it a few months ago it was BAD! One REALLY bad and sleepless night and we decided to let her make her own decisons on when she was ready to give it up...I mean how often do you see a 13 year old with a pacifier, right?

Well, my precocious little one decided she was done and she has not looked back. I'm sad she is growing up and "only babies need two-twos" (our nickname for the pacifier), but it is so amazing to see her making decisions like this on her own. She is quite a little girl. She also just informed as I am typing this that "mommy...sissy is crawling! It is AMAZING!" She melts my heart.

Open Eyes

My husband and I have been going through a lot of "stuff" the last six months. I'm sick of thinking about most of it and quite honestly felt my life slipping away from me more times than I'd like to admit, but one thing I would like to say is how blessed these past hardships have made me. I feel a center of peace and hope that it will soon be alright.

The dark period is not fully over, but my eyes have been opened to life, love, friendship and faith. I have finally came back to terms with my faith (which I have been doubting and neglecting for quite some time) and I feel really good about the future. My husband actually enjoys our new church and we have been consistantly going to mass a family. It feels good. I also feel pretty good about disassociating with toxic people that return nothing in regards to support, respect and love.

I've always known that I have had people in my life that were there for show. I have lots of "material stuff" in my life that serves the same purpose. Most of these people are so concerned with how good they look and how high they can climb socially that they don't have the sort of substance and heart I look for in a faithful friend. I can't afford financially or emotionally to hang with them.

So, as I sell off and eliminate unnecissary material goods that serve no purpose to the survivial of my family I think about the people that pose as friends in my life. I also think of how sad it is to be shallow and money driven. It is a life without money that has made me see that all I need is my family and the friends that actually care. Thats all.

Perhaps the nicest hidden blessing is the alination and cutting off that some of these "friends" have done to me and my husband. I'm not fully sure all of them have done it on purpose, but I know a few have for sure (its a small town and people have a uncanny knack of talking). I'm actually relieved. Though I am slightly confused why people turn for reasons out of my control, I am relieved that I didnt have to be the person to "divorce" a "friend". Its easier to let time drive the wedge, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth to cut someone out. Since it has been done to me I dont have to have the guilt and I'm not hurt at all. It is actually a rare gift.

As the new year is around the corner and I feel a heavy weight slowly lifting off of me I look forward. I look forward to building old and true relationships and I look forward to creating new ones. Most of all I look forward to staying true to my new sense of self and way of living. I feel like a slow moving version of the Phoenix. My rise from the flames is going to take awhile, but I will be reborn fully someday soon.

A Conversation with a Two-Year Old Goes Like This...

Mommy: "Addison...do you think you could give all your two-twos' {pacifier} to Santa for Christmas?
He can give them to little babies that really need them."

Addison:  {very, very seriously} "wwweeelll..." extremely long and dramatic pause with a very deep and analytic face followed by a stroking of the chin

"I guess so"  followed by a very dramatic shrug of the shoulders

Hilarious!