Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I don't like when people don't like me (I don't lose sleep over it, but it is just a sucky feeling) and I really don't like that the few places I should feel free to be open I can not. We are all imperfect, I don't need others to remind me of my own. I can do that quite well on my own-thank you.
I sort of feel better. I almost don't care anymore, almost.
Thursday, August 05, 2010
Little Rock: [playing Monopoly] Oh, free parking!
Wichita: Which, coincidentally, is the best thing about Zombieland.
Wichita: No... the best thing about Z-land, no Facebook status updates. You know, "Rob Curtis is gearing up for Friday." Who cares?
Tallahassee: The best thing is no more flushing. Epic.
Columbus: Are you one of those guys who has to constantly 'one-up' everyone else? Tallahassee: Hell, no! I knew a guy once who was a lot worse at that than me.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
With Ry's new job I now am the lone ranger from the hours of 2:30pm-sometimes 3:30am. I am pretty surprised that I have embraced this head on and I think it is really working for the girls too. We have adventured to more grocery stores, public pools, theaters, libraries and resturants than we have since Baylor has been born. I am still a little shaky on the "run" factor...Immagination Station was definetly only possible because my good friends shared the load and I mainly just worry about stranger danger.
I am not saying I am a fan of a zone defense, I much prefer man-to-man in coaching and in parenting, but I think it is actually causing the girls to behave better, rely on each other and grow trust.
My sweet little Addison is now very good at getting into the car, buckling her steat belt and then doing it all in reverse when we arrive. I am more than melecholy that she gets out on her own and shuts the door, but I certainly wished she could have done all these things when Baylor was first born. The anxiety and helplessness are still so fresh in my memory.
I also really love that she helps Baylor put her shoes on too. Once again, this is the girl that would climb book shelves while I was trying to nurse Baylor. Super Big Sis to the rescue.
Anyway, I hate that Ryan is at work and I will really hate when I am back to work full-time...but we are doing pretty darn good with this new arrangment. The oldest of four, my parents didnt take us out much. I have never blamed them for this, they werent insane:) I just like that I am now comfortable going on multi-kid adventures. I am not stating that I enjoy taking a 2 1/2 year old and a 1 year old to the grocery store. You suddenly realize how much crap the stores have hanging at toddler height AND Addison needed to go to the bathroom (any public restrooms are gross with kids). She was easy, distracting Baylor in the stall while Addison peed was the hard part!
It just feels nice to not feel stuck in the house because your usual teammate is at work.
We wanted our babies close for all the good reasons and we certainly were in denial enough not to be prepared for how hard it actually is. Every time you get comfortable with a stage of development they change. A prime example: Baylor learning to walk, that was a curve ball I should have seen coming. Not so nice when sweet baby isn't chilling in the stroller-that kid wants to RUN.
In all, today was another good day and I realized that as my babies are learning and growing as children I am doing the same as a mom. My reflex's are getting super strong and I think the eyes are starting to grow in the back of my head.
Everyday is a new day, I sort of wish they wrote one of those What to Expect books....What to Expect Each Morning You Wake Up A Mommy.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
This was their first playdate. Addison is around 2 months old. This was this past Friday and I am pretty sure I am going to be the mom that cries at every landmark and everyone in our family knows I save EVERYTHING.
I know it is gross, but I even saved her dried umbellica cord stump and even the pregnancy tests I took. Don't judge me-I'm "sentimental" (my loving husband affectionatly calls me a neurotic horder).
Her first day of school will for sure be a pinnacle moment in my line of mental breakdowns, I don't want to even think about Baylor...shes not allowed to grow up period.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Today I introduce to you a gold nugget that I discovered late last night: akwardfamilyphotos.com AND akwardfamilypetphotos.com. The photos are hilarious, but the comments are even funnier. I already picked two out that I am using for writing prompts in the fall. I hope you enjoy a few of my favs:
Friday, July 16, 2010
We had a great play date today and Jodie takes the most beautiful photos. Baylor is getting to the age where she is getting involved with the big girls more and they were just little fishies in the pool. Overall another blessed and beautiful day!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Four books before bed with my girls, a big "I knew I could count on you" from Addison (all I did was get her a drink of water...that was an easy one) and nothing can get me down. This is a much better way to live my life and a great way to end another simple and blessed day.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Tonight we explained to her that if she wasn't going to eat then we would give it to little kids that did not have enough to eat. She was very blessed to have food and they were not.
I figure this would teach her about compassion and maybe get her to eat with a little reverse psychology. Holy crap, she demanded that we get in the car and take the food right now. She even went and got a plastic baggie out of the kitchen. "Mommy, they are so hungry...we need to feed them now. I don't like this, so I help them".
She would not let it go. I felt sort of lost, I had no idea where I was suppose to take a bag of pancakes (yes, we like to have "brinner") at 6:30 in order to feed hungry kids? She wanted to come too "I can't wait to help them so much mommy, I am going with you".
Luckily grandma and papa stopped over just at the right time to distract her. I couldn't be prouder, but geesh...she had me on the carpet. She would not take "mommy will take care of it tomorrow" for an answer. I need to figure out where I can really take her to feed the hungry.
I feel that every single child has somethings that they are naturally gifted at. Addison is gifted with language and nurturing. She just makes me so proud caring about others...poor kid use to sob when the Human Society commercials (the Sarah Mclachlan music pulling your heart strings) came on "the poor puppies mommy, they are so scarred". She wasn't even 2 yet.
It is just so amazing to know that she already is who she is going to be. I may have a hand in supporting her and guiding her as she develops her gifts, but she is already pre-wired to be someone. It is so weird to watch this unfold. I am learning quite a bit about how to be a better human from my little one.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
She was a pioneer and an amazing women who loved all things living, her obit puts it all together beautifully.There is a crazy story though that I forgot to share:
The day before Aunt Jane died Ry's mom took the girls to visit Aunt Jane. She loved them and would send books to them and light up the moment they walked in the room. I mean her passion was working with small children, so it was an honor for me to have the girls around her last few years. I think they made her feel young again.
Anyhow, as they were leaving Wednesday night Addison turned for no reason and said casually to Aunt Jane "You'll be Okay". There was no prior conversation, no prompt-she just turned and said it. Aunt Jane passed in her sleep the next day.
I asked Addison about Aunt Jane the morning we found out and she said "mommy, Aunt Jane is in her old living room, shes sleeping for a while...she's going to relax for like a week." I was stunned. Aunt Jane moved out of her old house on the hill in Ann Arbor about 6 years ago...she loved that house and the living room. Weird.
Perhaps the most emotional part is that the Addison's story made it into the eulogy. In fact they closed with saying "Addison has it right, Jane and all of us will all be okay in the arms of Jesus". As you can imagine I sort of lost it.
Children have something so magical to them, I wish there was a way we could keep a hold of that and not loose it as adults.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
I think I am fatter just from reading the article and this picture is about as close to this sandwich as I am going to get. Yikes!
Talk about a middle finger to healthy living-
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Addison informed me that she was happy to pee and poop like a big girl now AND that I was her best friend because we go on imaginary adventures together-today we drove a helicopter through the house and last night we jumped into a book to get a bottle of perfume.
It smelled beautiful.
I want to cry (sometimes I do, I never knew saying good bye to diapers was that big a deal) because this is all going by too fast, I still visit the vivid memory of holding her, just me and my girl, in my hospital room after everyone went home her first night alive. It was just the two of us and I still can't believe what I have been chosen to do.
She is growing into such an amazing and compassionate little girl. So smart and beautiful...very aware of others and the big world around her. She is a nurturer for sure.
Don't get me started on Baylor Jane...she is babbling like a crazy person and every few words she clearly states "Good Girl", "hello" or "hot dog". I thought she was going to be our quite and reflective one. Fat chance...she is more of a dare devil than Addison and she learns too much from her...I'm not talking the alphabet ; manipulation, climbing skills and how to drive us overall nutty.
This was just a weekend that once again reminds me that I am taking part in a miracle raising these two little women and I am just so honored to be doing this with my husband. We aren't the worlds most perfect parents, but I know I am having a blast on this adventure.
That's a good sign right?
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Sure, I have shows I really like and have watched pretty regularly, but I have never been so hooked on a show that I am actually pretty sad it is about to end.
My only regret is that I don't have friends that follow it like me. I really wanted to throw a themed party for tonight's epic finale.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
I hope I am brave enough to do half of the things they are doing-I am still trying to cut the umbilical cord with television and though I wouldn't make my girls wear long denim skirts I certainly applaud the Duggar's emphasis on modesty.
Just because society has changed and taken most of us along for the ride, doesn't mean I don't think the old-school modesty and simplicity is nice. Plus, I LOVE that they do everything in cash and have no debt.
It is clear from the last few seasons that they have been getting a bit more funding from TLC, but they did just fine years ago and I love it.
I keep praying for their little Josie and more power to them!
Oh, yeah...and my grandma's sister had 18 kids. I agree that it sounds crazy, but I think it is cool to have all the kids your house can hold. One of four, it makes me sad that we may not be able to afford more than two. My parents always said that after four it gets easier...something about the oldest helping a lot more-that explains my role in the family:)
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Thursday, May 06, 2010
All the extra jobs and making all of the cuts (which seem like no big deal now...bring it on) is so worth being out of debt in the next few years. I just keep dreaming of the day when our only expenses are living and the mortgage.
I feel like Dave Ramsey and his teachings has had such a huge part in saving our life and our marriage.
As for surrendering...I am knee deep in The Me I want to Be and it is quite a soul opener. Letting go has been so amazing and difficult at the same time and each day I sit down and read I feel a little bit better about the progress I am making in my own spiritual journey. It is pretty cool how all of the stress of the last few months has actually given me the push to find the spirituality I had been negelecting for so long.
This conitunes to be a segment of my life that has had so much change. There has been so much heartache and so much beautiful redemption, I have found solace in patience and taking the time to let things unravle as planned. I think it is perception and attitude that has made all the difference and I am glad that I have finally matured enough to say that aloud:)
So, to all the growth that has happened and to all that will be in the future...I look forward to the journey. I am working on getting better at paying attention to the scenic route and stop getting hung on things like bumpy roads, expensive cars and stormy surroundings.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Addison peed all over my bedroom tonight, we are having quite an adventure with potty training and she also is fascinated with taking her clothes off-sick and weird, right?
Well, what is the most messed up (and 100% the mommy in me) is that both bathroom malfunctions made me miss our old puppy, Peter.
He was a really messed up little man with some serious issues and we had to find him a new home when he tried to attack Addison (he had like 3 teeth, it was not a very vicious attack). He peed and pooped in the house out of spite or if were gone longer than he liked. But I loved him, he was so much work and I think he tried to kill me twice on the basement stairs, and I think about him once in awhile.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I can not stop laughing at the new series of Kotex ads. Finally, someone made advertising that was sarcastically commenting on what I have been making fun of for years.
I was just introduced to the "take care of your beaver" commercial. Yeah, I'm not sure I will see it on the local stations. Check it out on YouTube, it will either make you completely offended or pee your pants from laughter. I sort of did both...I know-TMI.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
My adorable husband decided he wanted to keep a blog. Check him outYeah...You're Right. He makes me smile and I can't wait to read what's on his mind. With two wild kids we don't always get to share the little things with each other, it may be nice to take little peaks into his brain that parenthood and life no longer permit.
God Bless him too, he is so worried that his writing won't be good enough:) I think he is going to be great!
P.S. His header photo is pretty cute, he loves bulldogs and he always says our youngest child is a little bulldog. We'd own one if the darn things didn't cost $2000!
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Thursday, April 08, 2010
I love it! Check it out:You Have 0 Friends
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
I am sitting in the basement doing bills (in wonderful silence) when all I start to hear over the monitor is the adorable sound of Addison singing "Imma Be" by the Black Eyed Peas.
She is really getting into it.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Yesterday may have been one of the best days I have had in years and one of the top 3 birthdays so far. 31 (I'm done with the YIKES...I feel good about being alive thank you!) is going to be a great year no matter what.
Nothing really out of the ordinary happened, I just really had a good day. I am very blessed, the girls were giggling and the sun was shining. My family was all around and I got a Vera Bradley bag:) I didn't expect the bag at all so it was a nice surprise. In fact, I really didn't even realize I wanted one. It is super cute and I love it, thanks mom! She always knows what works for me, even when I have no clue.
I'm looking forward to making more days like these. It was a lot easier than I realized, all I had to do was smile and open my eyes.
Friday, April 02, 2010
One thing I know for sure, my girls would stay outside for hours if bubbles are involved. Uncle Gregory gave Baylor the greatest bubble machine for her birthday and it is fantastic. Spent about 2 hours playing with it at Baylors party and got another 1 out of it this afternoon.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I just get on a pretty good schedule and I was feeling like I MIGHT take care of my "little" weight problem. Ryan and I were even working out together on Saturday mornings and it was nice.
Then he gets surgery and boom...I can't a free minute to get race through 30 minutes. He is in a sling and can't even hold his babies, let alone be left alone with them.
Boo. I refuse to let this get me off track. It is just so stinking hard to rally up the babysitter troops. They help so much, but my options are very limited.
here is my resolve:as my three sizes smaller jeans (from 3 years ago might I add) are my witness I will keep working out. I need to loose about 10 pounds more before I can start up my running training and I refuse to keep the old and athletic me locked up much longer.
Okay, so I put it on writing and I am posting it on the web...I can't back down now-right?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
It consisted of Baylor shaking her head (which is adorable by the way)shouting her own version of NO and then Addison saying YES!. It started as Addison goofing around and then it got serious. It really made Addy mad that Baylor was saying no to her and it was pretty obvious that Baylor enjoyed the fact that it made Addy mad she was saying no to her:) Back and forth for like 5 minutes...aggghhh.
I wanted to laugh, but at the same time I really just wanted to cry. They have officially become "sisters". Lock up their closets and drawers, I see wars over clothing in my near future.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I've linked her background story and her blog (Enjoying the Small Things). Kelle Hampton and her beautiful little family simply warm my heart.
Monday, March 15, 2010
After months and months, I finally was able to see Inglorious Basterds...I loved it! It might be my favorite movie of the moment. The first 15 minutes are so intense I almost couldn't stand it.
Next on my "to see" list...Green Zone. I hope I won't have to wait until it comes out on DVD.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Thursday, March 04, 2010
Where the heck are my answers? I have lots and lots of theories, but the mental pretzel that keeps getting knotted tighter and tighter is about to make my snap. Please throw me a bone here.
P.S. Where is Charles Widmore and please tell me he is in John Locks body.
It is almost (I stress ALMOST) as addictive as PostSecret and Stumbleupon.
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
...I learned from blogger.
I just took a trip back to 2006, yup I went and read my old posts. Man, I am so boring these days.
Back then I was stupid, sophomoric, funny, irrelevant and I was clearly having fun. The last two years is a mix of "cute", "matronly", and "reflective". Nice and all, but I am sick of being those three things. I love my babies, but I think they have sucked the ME out of me.
Like my horrible and short "mom hair", I am growing it out and trying to find a balance of who I was in my twenties with who I am now. Ughh, this is going to take effort:)
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Baylor is one March 24Th and I can't believe I am planning my second 1st birthday party. Addison is our little Tinker Belle so we went all fairy for her. I work hard to keep a balance for Baylor on photos and attention on milestones...you sort of loose the gusto on the 2nd, but I try.
Anyhow, I'm thinking Care Bears. Her nickname is "the bear", I thought it would be cute. We shall see.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tonight we had our 2nd FPU class and I just feel so good about our future. We are slowly waking up from a nightmare that has lasted nearly 6 months, but we are slowly rising from the ashes. I feel excellent about the positive changes happening in our lives and I am very blessed for the transformations we (yes we, Ryan has grown even more than me and I am so proud) have been experiencing.
Taking stock of my life the last few months, opening my eyes to toxic people and just finally breathing in the blessed and beautiful things in my life has allowed me to better heal from the pain.
I look forward to the next 11 weeks of class and the next 60 years of my life...it feels good to say these things out loud and if feels amazing to go through a full day with out sobbing fearing yet another bottom falling out.
I would love to shake Mr. Ramsey's hand, send a gracious thank you to my husband, family and real friends and just smile at God.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
After long periods of painful and constant ear infections I am now the proud mother of two babies under three with tubes. Baylor Jane just got hers and Addison has reached the one year mark.
Second tube operation in one year got me thinking, what is it like to have your ears so full of fluid and so tender and irritated from infection and then magically they are clear? I have witnessed changes with both girls almost overnight from their surgeries and I just wonder how trippy it is for them.
It is hard to imagine what it is like to be so small and learning so much about life and human function (speech, balance/walking, pain) with such a disadvantage and then the disadvantage disappear.
Either way, I am very grateful that both my girls are doing great and we are so very blessed. Baylor is taking steps and her language skills have stepped it up tremendously in a little under a week. Crazy.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
I am sort of deflated by lack of readership and support. I am thinking of just quiting my blog.
I started this experience as a way to journal my thoughts on life and reflect on my days in a life that I am still very amazed to be living. I just think I would be better suited putting my thoughts down in a traditional journal.
It is far more painful than I ever realized to keep a blog up that no one reads. I guess I didn't intend to have that matter to me as much as it does, but it does:( the worst is reading other blogs and most get an average of 4-7 comments. I'm not trying to whine (which I am) but I just don't like feeling icky about it.
Anyhow, I figure if someone comments in the next week I'll stay on. If not, I'm sticking to pen and paper. No sense wasting cyberspace trying to be part of the "cool crowd". We shall see.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Baylor is getting quicker and quicker each day and I am thinking that walking is going to be the death of me.
The cutest part of her new skills is the morning greet. Most mornings Baylor is laying in bed, sometimes sitting, with a smile. Now, we are greeted by a two tooth stand up salute. She has been standing along her crib rail with a big cheesy grin with such pride. She really does love standing.
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Friday, January 01, 2010
Anyhow, I was watching the Sugarbowl and I thought I would look up EPH 2:8-10 since Tim Tebow wrote it on his eye paint. It moved me that a kid (and he is a kid) that has so much talent and accomplished so much at such a young age credits his gifts as the work of God and openly thanks his relationship with God for his life. It was just nice.
So, here is the actual bible versus Tebow was highlighting during tonight's game:
Ephesians 2:8-10 (New International Version)
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.