Go Bayside, Beat Valley!

I want this shirt from UrbanOutfitters really, really bad. Is that odd?

WTF?

I don't really know what else to say...this is a head scratcher.

Sounds Like A Good Idea to Me?

I just read about Tummy Tuck Jeans. Hmmm, I was thinking about hunting down a pair to try on. They range from $89 - $120 dollars, which I would have no problem paying for jeans that look good. Any sort of bottom is hell to fit on my oddly shaped 6" tall frame and as cheap as I am I can sacrifice if it is an investment.

What I didn't like was the fact that every model on the website was a stick thin, no hip, NATURALLY flat stomach waif. That is crap! What the hell do they need tucked? These jeans have a built in girdle systems for Pete's Sake. The unnatural models don't even have enough body fat to keep them warm in the winter. Marketing like this and the hypocritical images body message pushed on American woman is exactly why I left the fashion industry. This is as dumb the people on E! calling Scarlett Johansen a full and curvy woman.

The Embarrassing and The Amazing

I sadly wasted about an hour of my life flipping back and forth to the most embarrassing show ever-Celebrity Duets. You have to watch this to believe it, it's truly painful. I kid you not, I covered my eyes when Chris Jericho sang because I felt so horrible for him and Lea Thompson is even worse. Jai Rodriguez from Queer Eye for the Strait Guy is actually pretty good and Hal Sparks is so stinking cute, but seriously-Cheech Marin?

To top it all off the duets with the most elevator music sort of artists, Michael Bolton, Cyndie Lauper, Randy Travis! Come on!!

If you really want to watch a singing competition that blows Celebrity Duets, American Idol or anything else out of the water try Rock Star:Supernova. It is amazing the talent of these people bring to the table and they sing all rock songs. None of the Dion Warwick crap.


My top picks are Magni and Toby, but the competition is pretty solid. The cool thing about this show is that it is international and most of the contestants have either had multi record deals or years and years of experience. It is less of a contest and more about a really competitive audition for a rock band. This show is worth the time. There is an elimination show tonight.

Another Good One

Child In Corner To Exact Revenge As Soon As He Gets Out

SEATTLE—Six-year-old Daniel Barriault says he has learned his lesson, but what those who wronged him don't realize is that their lesson has only just begun.

Everyone Needs The Onion

Here is a funny news report from my favorite fake newspaper. Enjoy the satire.

Girl Moved To Tears By Of Mice And Men Cliffs Notes

CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA—A visibly shaken Grace Weaver said she never wanted the synopsis to end.

Ryan says"Yeeeaaahhh! Five More Days Until Kick Off!

Just an update, the Michigan chain is down to five links. I suggested we take a picture for the blog, Ryan decided to get all dressed up. Also, Peter the Poodle and his buddy Mr. Michigan Gnome say "What's up". Enjoy-Go Blue!

My Ears are Still Young!

I keep reading on this cell phone ring that only kids can hear and how this will be a problem in the classroom. They call it the mosquito ring tone. I am rather intriqued with it and I went to this website to check it out. I can proudly say I can hear the ringer! One of the articles I read was in a educators magazine and it said most teachers over 25 can't hear the high pitched ring. Try it out.

Margarita Malaria and Other Life Lessons

I have found that when you have a righteous hangover you learn a lot about yourself as well as the intricacies of your television watching behavior. Due to the delicious drinks at Mi Hacienda, my lack of self control and the great company of Sarah and Amy I caught myself a case of Malaria. I spent today dying in bed and came to a few conclusions...

For instance, my new favorite show is Design Star on HGTV. I watched the first six episode marathon and I am freaking in love with it! The two final contestants are amazing and I am really pulling for David, the finale is next Sunday at 9.

Next, Project Runway...loved the last two seasons but I fell behind with what was up this time around. A four episode catch up has convinced me that I want Uli or Michael to win. It reminds me of people I used to work with in New York.

Ironically enough I am now officially addicted to Intervention. Tonight's episode was a Meth addict who was 24 and had no eyebrows. Heart breaking stuff.

Finally, I came to the conclusion that for the last few years I have claimed that I'm not really into reality TV. After some deep soul searching I can openly say that I have a sick obsession with reality TV. I mean I watch a show where families take their loved ones by storm and check them into rehab. What is wrong with me? Maybe it is the summer line up and lack of new unreality shows, but I would say that today proved my level of watch is directed at about 86% reality shows. I mean, Big Brother makes me laugh, Laguna Beach makes me roll my eyes and Driving Force makes me cringe-all causing enjoyment. Is there some sort of rehab for televisions junkies?Now, that would be a show I would watch.

Boo, Freakin' Hoo! No One Reads My Blog!

My blog queen of a pal Sarah suggested that getting a counter for your blog is pretty swell. It keeps track of what countries visitors come from and lets you know your general traffic flow. Sounded great.

Well, I am pretty boring and as of today I have had zero visitors for two weeks! I guess this post is pretty dumb since no one will read it but, man do I feel like the smelly kid getting picked last in gym class.

It is not a lie that I have not been diligent with my daily posts but I figure "who is going to notice?"... that is probably my first problem. I also didn't really start to blog for a avid fan base, but now I feel un loved-what a complex.


Soooo, what I ask of you poor stranger or dear friend that has stumbled by my humble blog by accident (or guilt) is a suggestion or too on how to become a "popular" blog runner- person- thingy. What are the tricks of the trade? How can I spice it up a bit? This is a cry for help.

Thank God, I Am Not the Only One That Thinks Cruise Sucks!

For the last two-three years I have been harboring a semi-secret hatred for Tom Cruise. Now, finally someone of power openly agrees that this man is rotten and it doesn't matter how hot or how good he was in Top Gun or A Few Good Men he must be stopped. I have sat patiently boycotting his last few releases waiting until the rest of America realized what a smug, self-righteous, pretentious fool Mr. Cruise really is.

In an article from The New York Times journalist Caryn James outlines the reason Celeb's stay popular and discusses what has been driving me mad for months.

Sumner Redstone, the 83-year-old chairman of Viacom, is old and cranky and enough of a loose cannon to have blurted out what ordinary people have been thinking for months, that Tom Cruise is out of control.

I'd like to say a big freaking Amen to Mr. Redstone! The article proceeds to discuss the crude attack of Brook Shields and the other belligerent behavior Loony Cruise has demonstrated for months. James goes on to say

The essence of Mr. Cruise's appeal going all the way back to Risky Business and on through crowd-pleasers like Jerry Maguire was a fresh-faced, unpretentious exuberance, a glee that practically leapt off the screen and that even worked in unlikely roles like the outraged, paraplegic Vietnam veteran in Born on the Fourth of July.

Ah, exactly.

And not to sound like the town gossip, but my mothers secretary's daughter (does that make sense?) best friend is Katie Holmes sister. Now the stories that have come from the best friend and the rest of the family can be elegantly summed up by saying he simply a douche bag. He refuses to let Katie come back to Toledo or associate with her family and friends unless he is present and until a few weeks ago her own siblings had not be awarded a peek at Suri.

So, take a check out this article and boo at me if you want, but I have issues with celebrities that think they are above us. I mean they make movies for God's sake, not cure cancer, fight in wars or change the world in any shape or form except by giving me something to procrastinate from my middle class existence and post a blog about.

Check out the other brilliant acts of Cruise...
South Park controversies

Tom Cruise wins Australia award -- for sexism

I Really Do.

"Children deprived of words become school dropouts; dropouts deprived of hope behave delinquently. Amateur censors blame delinquency on reading immoral books and magazines, when in fact, the inability to read anything is the basic trouble."

-- Peter S. Jennison


I am proud to teach in a district that allows "dangerous" books in our curriculum. I just finished a unit for a book written by Chris Crutcher. This man has had more of his teen books deemed as dangerous or banned. Yet, my students love them. He is speaking at my school this year and we just had two more of his books added to the curriculum. Yeah! Kids are being encouraged to read!!

Is your favorite book censored?


Check out these sites on censorship.
http://forbiddenlibrary.com/
www.ala.org/ala/oif/
www.kidspeakonline.org

My Classroom is a Bit Ripe

Went into my classroom today to get a jump on the school year and put it all back together. Yeah, it has a "funk" to it. A real ass and floor wax kind of vibe. Time to get a new Glade air thingy, hope someone cares.

Numerous friends have shown me the power of PostSecret.com. I like to check it regularly and if you have not tried it out I suggest it, it is well worth your time and interest. Here. The images and words are simple, complex, profound and silly.

This new post sparked something in me that made me shiver. I realized that, though it probably seemed grotesque to most, I found the sickly body beautiful. As someone who has waged a war with anorexia, bulimia and food in general for well over 10 years I felt about 5 seconds of jealousy; why couldn't I be that thin? I freaked because I thought I was healed and that thought was sick.

Then I moved into admiration for the personal strength of the poster. This made me realize that one is never "cured" from their illness or battle. It is what you do with the remaining fragments. Do you let them lay dormant or do you use them to build positive beginnings.

Anyhow, always moved and always feeling life... I just wanted to share the power of one particular blog and thank those who share their secrets. Whether it is to a blog, to their friends or to themselves.

I Am a Popular Culture Freak

I have always known that I have a obscure and mostly useless array of knowledge in regards to popular culture. Want I didn't know was that VH1 created a tournament where you could win $250,000.00 for watching too much TV and movies, reading excessively and listening to lots of different music.

I was pissed to watch this tournament and realize that the people on it were idiots and the questions were extremely easy. So, being the proactive person that I am, I signed up for the second season casting call and will be going to Chicago when the date is set. You compete in teams of three, thus far my team consists of my husband and me. We are currently accepting applications for a third member so if you can name at least three characters from Thundercats, sing the theme song to Smokey and the Bandit, or name the actress that played Screech Powers girlfriend on Saved by the Bell you are right for us.

In the spirit of the game I thought I would post a few easy questions for fun. I might be interesting to see if I am the only person (besides my poor husband) that has no life.

Movie Tag Lines (name the film)

1. Collide with Destiny

2. 'For Harry and Lloyd everyday is a no-brainer.'

3. 'She walked off the street, into his life and stole his heart.'

4. 'An adventure 65 million years in the making.'

The Simpsons

5. What is the name of the criminal that always robs the Kwik-E- Mart?

6. What was the name of the resturant the served Homer poisonous fish?

7. To whom did Bart sell his soul?

8.What is Patty and Selma's favorite TV show?

Movie Quotes

9. Kenny: You guys gotta get me out of here! There's this guy Nasty Nate who wants my cocktail fruit, and everyone here likes fresh fish! Then The Squirrel Master came out of left field and told me I'm his bitch!

10.Marge: Say Lou, didya hear the one about the guy who couldn't afford personalized plate so he went and changed his name to J3L2404? Lou: Yah, that's a good one.

11.Joseph Donnelly: I tried to prove myself to you, But I know nothing of Books, or Alphabets, or Sun, or Moon, or... All I know is Joseph Loves Shannon.

Random Questions

12.Which John Cusack film was written and directed by Cameron Crow?

13. What Kevin Smith movie first starred Ben Affleck and Jason Lee as the Bluntman and Chronic comic book authors.

14. In Billy Madison a song is playing when Billy pulls up to his first day of high school. What is the song and who is the artist?

15. What was the name of the girl group Kelly, Jessie and Lisa formed on Saved by the Bell?

Taaah Daaaah!

As promised... I created a Michigan paper chain to help with the count down to game day. My husband is really excited.

I am way too old for a glue stick so I cheated with staples and I clearly have way too much free time. Yeah! Go Blue!

Why Does She Get to Have Babies?

Just wondering. I am struggling to understand why people like Britney can get knocked up and it is taking me so stinking long. WTF?

It is not that I don't like Britney Spears, I just don't want her to procreate, make music or speak in public anymore.

Popozao!

You have to check this out. Brittney is certainly on something. I never thought I would say that Kevin Federline seems to be the voice of reason. POPOZAO!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB84A3zcmVo

August 3= 29 Days till Michigan Football

The University of Michigan's football team kicks off their season exactly 29 days from today, at least that is what my husband started singing at 8 am this morning . I should be used to his excitement by now, this will be our fourth full season together and the amount of Michigan memorabilia and fanaticism has merged into one lovely amorphous ball of joy. I just usually get excited, oh say...on the first game day?!

Any of you who know my husband, or my in-laws, you may already realize that I had to first fall in love with Michigan before I could ever fall in love with Ryan. It is not a requirement it is just who he is and Michigan is pretty easy to fall in love with. In fact college football in general is pretty much my favorite time of year. Though I love my NCAA basketball, football has a feel that can't be beat. The early fall weather, the grills, the 7 am tailgating before a 3:30 kick off; it is fantastic. What is still amusing to me- in a shrug my shoulders roll my eyes kind of way- is how my husband turns into a twelve- year old boy exactly one month before the season starts.

It is like freakin Christmas. He makes these weird little noises that I think are giggles and than slaps his hands together and says "Ohhhh, 29 days I CAN'T WAIT!". Then his good friend Mikey the Ohio State fan will come over and they will talk prospects, it's like their annual pre-season pissing match.

I have decided in the spirit of my husbands excitement and my own love of Michigan football, I am going to create a construction paper chain with maize and blue paper. Ryan can rip off a link each morning just like we did as kids for Christmas. I am pretty sure this will only exacerbate his pre-season giddiness, but I will surely get some entertainment out of it. I can only imagine that as the madness I have grown fond of called college football sneaks around the corner I will have plenty of delightful stories. When you marry into a family that rents a tent, gets a band and pulls out the big screen TV for the Michigan v. Ohio State game you have so much to look forward too!

Go Blue!

Man, V For Vendetta Fired Me Up

Last night I sat down to finally watch V for Vendetta. When it first came out in theatres one of my students explained to me that it started in the early 80's as a graphic novel (comic book). He shared it with me and I thought it could possibly be a fantastic film.

It was actually amazing.

I tend to get very fired up when I watch a movie that moves me. I usually get made fun of for getting into films as much as I do, but when I watch something that was imagined by a human I assume that there is nothing keeping someone else from actually doing it. If you haven't seen the film or read the book there is an overall message of revolution and not letting fear control you. The film version was adapted to include biological warfare and religious terrorism making the modern day issues catalyst for even more paranoia.

Conspiracy theories tend to be traditionally for crazy people, but the older I get the less I trust any government. I trust the good in people, but I don't trust the euphoric high of power. My mother keeps telling me I watch to much TV and read too many books, but hell I have ADD.

Anyhow, I enjoyed the film tremendously and I will continue to ignore most of the news on TV assuming it is the result of money grubbing puppetry. As for the government, I will probably always think it is evil. If a movie, book or television show can be imagined by gifted writers then people with lots of power, money and insatiable greed can think of it too.

Geeze, I should have just watched The Benchwarmers.

Check it out http://vforvendetta.warnerbros.com/

On the First Day...

Well, this is my inaugural post. I would like to give a big thank you to Sara for her inspiration and the lovely work she does with turtleparade. I truly believe that Myspace is a gateway drug leading to bigger things such as blogging and Sara is metaphorically my dealer.

Today I visited my Aunt and Uncle-in-laws office. They own a very successful temporary staffing company and two days ago it burnt to the ground. My husband and I really wanted to show our support, but I don't think we were ready for the devastation. There was nothing left but crumbling brick walls and piles of soot. What I found extremely profound was that their business is called Phoenix Staffing. I'm not sure if anyone other than Harry Potter readers and English teachers know this, but a Phoenix is a mythical creature that bursts into flames and is reborn from its own ashes.

I found something very amazing in that occurrence and I wonder why it takes things like fires to make people take a look at recreating themselves time after time. It seems like a nice way to look at constantly living life to the fullest.